A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself,
"Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven.
Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine......"
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"
The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.
"Yes," he answered.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day. "What are you teaching my son in math?"
The teacher replied. "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked. "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?"
Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough."
The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked,
"If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later....."Da-ad...."
"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"
"No, You had your chance. Lights out."
Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."
"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"
Five minutes later...."Daaaa-aaaad....."
"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Johnny : Teacher, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
Teacher : George, go to the map and find North America.
George : Here it is!
Teacher : Correct. Now, class, who discovered North America?
Class : George!.
Teacher : Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
Ellen : I is....
Teacher : No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
Ellen : All right...."I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."